In our fast-changing world, shaped by technology, culture, and lifestyles that keep changing there is one disturbing trend among children today: children are neglecting their elderly parents. Parents who once represented knowledge, experience, and love are now considered lonely, isolated, and forgotten members of their own family. The respect and reverence we once had for our elders has lessened with each addition to our modern and unique lives. It was not long ago that families were typically together in joint family structures raising children and eventually raising their grandchildren. In joint family systems, the elderly were inherently the heads of the family unit; they were involved in all the big decisions made by the family and provided caring companionship to their children and grandchildren. They were thought of as gifts, blessings, and included aspects of your life that were necessary. Parents of today live an independent life in a nuclear family structure. In our world today, the elderly are the end consumers and ultimately want to live their remaining lives peacefully minutes from the chaos that their present lives represented. The process of raising children involves numerous years and fosters a healthy dependency on parents. After governing the lives of their children and grandchildren, parents now live alone maintaining neglected corners of their home or living in elder care homes.
The reasons for this increasing indifference are many. First, the imperatives of life today - work, career ambitions, and the desire for material gain - are preeminent. As youths spread out into various cities or countries in efforts of self-betterment, the innate bond to their parents weakens. Because physical location breeds emotional distance, parents who sacrificed dreams to raise their children have finally become neglectful of even regular phone calls to those children, overwhelmed by the thought of interrupting their “busy” lives. Eventually, parents’ hesitance and disconnection morph into the lonely and depressive state of detached elderly. Furthermore, Western notions of individualism and focus on personal freedom and independence suggest that one's family obligations should be shouldered less and less. Newly married children, immediately succeeding their weddings, seem to forget that the ones who devoted their patience and love to raise them are now turning into individuals needing a similar care and assistance - if the children cared enough to invest that effort. Children forget that they too are aging and eating medications for “conditions” that come with time (not to mention the many mental struggles we all fight as aging develops).
Technology, while it has helped people stay connected across distances, has ironically widened the emotional gap within families. Children often spend more time on screens than with their parents. Even when living in the same house, interactions are minimal, conversations are rare, and emotional exchanges almost non-existent. The elderly, who may not be comfortable with modern technology, feel even more alienated and out of place. Their stories, memories, and values often go unheard, dismissed as outdated or irrelevant. Financial dependence is another dimension of this issue. In some cases, once parents retire and no longer contribute economically, their value in the eyes of their children seems to diminish. The respect and care they once received suddenly disappear. In other cases, children see their parents as financial burdens, especially when they require medical care or special attention. Instead of stepping up to provide support, they may choose to ignore, avoid, or even mistreat their parents. Cases of elder abuse - emotional, physical, and financial—are sadly on the rise.
The other element is that as a culture oriented to youth, productivity, and social class, age is viewed as a deterioration and a burden. Elderly parents become icons of age and helplessness in an atmosphere that holds youth, energy, and productivity as values. Elderly parents, rather than embraced and honored for their life experiences, have all but been cast out. The value of the experience gained through time is not lost; it is us as human beings who are lost. There is no substitute for the love of a parent. To shape our human being, we have the silent prayers and supportive presence, offering support for more years than we are aware. To dismiss their worth and needs at a period of their greatest need is neglect. Conversely, this not only means providing assistance or financial support or even to assist them with their housework. It means to listen, visit, spend time, show they are valued, and loved. For someone who feels invisible in their home, a conversation, a touch, a meal together zone can mean the world.
Governments and civil society can provide support by implementing stronger social security systems, providing better healthcare services for the elderly, and making citizens more aware of the rights and needs of the seniors. But at the core of this issue is an individual's and family's responsibility. A society can only be fairly great if it provides for its weakest members. Nothing is more tragic than an aging mother or father wishing for just a phone call, a visit, or simply a hug from their own child. Let's not continue to make it more tragic; let's not put off visiting our elders until it is too late; let's not be so wrapped up in living ourselves that we forget who lovingly brought us through even the toughest times of our lives. The love and care we provide our elders today will forever resonate down the line. How we treat our elders today will also show our children how to treat us tomorrow. The truth is we mirror society together. If we have no care for those who showed us care through our lives, we have genuinely lost our humanity.
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